


i am an opportunist

by hankong



Category: GOT7
Genre: Idk how to work tags, also idk where this is going, but who knows, fair warning I am jjp trash - Freeform, thats new, theres swearing in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hankong/pseuds/hankong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the one where JJJ are fansite masters for the rising kpop group: got4</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. beginnings

It actually started out as a joke; or at least Jinyoung likes to delude himself into thinking that it had. 

It was at the end of Jinyoung’s junior year of college that his seedling of fear sprouted into a full grown flower. He should have gone to medical school. His parents, as much as it pained him to admit, were probably right. Photography was a dead career path. Jinyoung’s portfolio had been sent back three times in the last month and with each return envelope grew another flower until eventually his mind was blanketed in a field of pastels and self-doubt. 

“Your work is good, Jinyoung.” Jaebum, his best friend for as long as his prepubescent mind could remember, repeated the words like a mantra with each slice of thin envelope. “They don’t know what they’re passing up on.”

Jinyoung hates it; the way Jaebum’s eyes glaze over when he tries to reassure him. It’s almost like Jaebum is on auto-pilot. Jinyoung hates it. He knows that the older is genuine in his words; that he truly believes Jinyoung’s pictures are good, better than even. It’s just- how many times can someone say something before their tongue becomes raw? Jinyoung doesn’t blame him for it. But he hates it anyways. 

“Easy for you to say, you’re basically a published writer.” Jinyoung groans into the wooden table. 

“I was published in the college newspaper, Jinyoung. Everyone gets published in the school newspaper.” Jinyoung can practically hear Jaebum’s eyes roll from the kitchen of their shared loft.

“Well then everyone is much more successful than I am.”

“Eat your breakfast.” Jaebum sets a plate of eggs and toast in front of him and in the midst of his wallowing; he hadn’t realized how hungry he really was. The plate of food was gone within a minute and for that minute everything seemed like it would be ok again. Just for that minute though.

“Your eggs taste like fucking magic.” Jinyoung swallows the remaining crumbs down and sighs into his cup as he remembers the third rejection letter he’d gotten that month. Not that he was counting, or had a box full of them under his bed that he rereads on nights when he feels especially self-destructive. 

As if he could read his mind; “Your pictures are amazing, Jinyoungie,” Jaebum pauses, waiting for Jinyoung to stop trying to burn actual holes into the letter, to which Jinyoung obliged. “I’ve seen your work; I’ve seen you practically fall asleep while holding a bottle of developer in your hand because you think an image loses beauty if you don’t develop it right away. The love you pour into your portfolio, someone is going to see that someday.” 

Jinyoung sometimes wishes that Jaebum was always on auto-pilot. Stupid English majors.

“Stupid English majors,” Jinyoung grumbles as a sign of thank you and compliance.

“Why do you even want to work for a fashion magazine anyways?” Jaebum raises an eyebrow as he scans Jinyoung’s chosen train wreck attire of the day; baggy capri pants and a baggy, slightly stained, black t-shirt. 

Jinyoung feels his eyes roll before he even registers his roommate’s rude commentary. “First of all, this is comfy, and second of all, it pays well. I need to save up to start my own studio someday.”

“You could always follow an idol around. I hear fansites make a lot of side cash if their pictures are good,” Jinyoung waits for the punchline he knows is to come, “and no one is better at appreciating the male body than you, Jinyoungie.” There it is.

Jaebum lets out a grunt as his chair is knocked over, knocking him flat on his back in the process.

“Whoops.” 

And thus, another seedling sprouted in the field of lilies Jinyoung had fertilized, a different flower yet to be named; this one not the product of a self-loathing 18 year old who could barely afford a used DSLR camera but instead of an equally self-loathing 21 year old desperate for confirmation. It wouldn't be until one month later that Jinyoung came across a flyer of a new idol group performing at their school's end of the year fling, and it wouldn't be for another two months that Jinyoung gets the website, Mark My Heart, fully operational and ready for donations.


	2. jackson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i hope this chapter isn't as ugly or repetitive as i fear

“You should still come with me to the concert.” Jaebum said for the nth time that day. Jinyoung lets out a loud groan and covers his face with a pillow; his other hand clutching onto a rejection letter.

“Can’t you just let me rot in peace, Im Jaebum?” Jinyoung muffles through cotton padding; perfectly aware that to anyone else his words would go untranslated and incoherent. But Jaebum wasn’t just anyone.

“You’d be dead within the hour.”

“I really don’t want to go to that concert. There will just be screaming girls everywhere.”

“Jinyoung,” Jaebum begins.

Jinyoung throws his pillow to the side in exasperation. “I mean it, Jae!” He sits up only to regret his words as he’s met with a flash of hurt in his roommate’s eyes. He closes his own and takes a deep breathe, already preparing himself for his angry roommate to yell at him for being too sensitive, but to his surprise he hears a door shut gently before his lungs have had the chance to fill to their maximum capacity.

Jinyoung lets the air out cautiously for whatever unknown reason.

He stares at the ceiling and counts the creases. _Jaebum means well,_ Jinyoung thought. His mind wanders as he summons the first memory he had of the other. Even as a child his best friend was all dull eyes and unkempt hair; tiny legs kicking the air as he swung himself as high as he could on an equally tiny red swing set. Jinyoung remembers a particular day where the wind was strong and the air filled with swirls of flower petals. An accumulation of pink petals had landed in Jaebum’s hair and he didn’t take notice; he just swung back and forth; the size of his toddler legs not creating enough velocity to sway them off.

Jinyoung thought that Jaebum looked stupid. The flower petal was still sticking to Jaebum’s hair by the end of recess. Their teacher had to pull Jaebum aside to detangle the petals from the nest that was his hair.

Jinyoung wishes he could go back in time and capture that moment.

Because the way that Jaebum’s eyes disappeared as he smiled at the petals in his hand was the epitome of childhood innocence. The antisocial boy that transferred into Jinyoung’s kindergarten class mid-year had the most brilliant smile that, to this day, he’d ever seen. No picture Jinyoung has taken, no great historical painting, could match up to that smile.

But if someone were to tell Jaebum that, he’d deny it.

Without realizing it, Jinyoung had already put on his coat and replaced his sweatpants with proper jeans. He grabbed his phone and keys and headed out the door, already dreading the loud cheering and body shoving that was inevitably going to give him a migraine.

If Jaebum asked: Jinyoung definitely wasn’t going for him.

“Look who’s finally come out from his cave of pillows,” Jaebum smiles. It took Jinyoung 30 minutes, four almost drink spills and one drunken college girl to find his roommate, who to his dismay, was settled in the front row. Jinyoung didn’t even know that Jaebum liked this group.

“This is Wang Jackson,” Jaebum refers to the brunette next to him with a camera that Jinyoung would give both his legs for. It’s not like he needs them to take pictures for the most part.

“Hi!” Jackson beamed. Jinyoung smiled back the best he could without staring at his camera.

“How much did that cost you?” Jinyoung screamed over the instrumental break during the song.

“What?” Jackson asked; though his eyes never left the preview lens.

Jinyoung retired the conversation to waiting until after the concert was finished. He racked his brain until he finally remembered what group was even playing. Got4. He vaguely remembers each member’s names but had no time to contemplate if he remembers correctly because all his mind could register was the rapper of the group.

 _Damn_.

His voice was deep. Not the kind of deep that action movie protagonists used to over exaggerate their manliness. No. The kind of deep that could lull you into a deep sleep that you’d never want to wake up from. The kind that you want to whisper sweet nothings into your ear at 2am in the morning. Jinyoung felt absolutely mesmerized as the rapper finished up his verse; the group exploding into another chorus-dance break.

When the concert ended Jinyoung felt like he was returning from another world. The songs weren’t so bad, he’d have to admit. He even thinks he might go out and buy one of their albums. Maybe learn their names.

“I didn’t mean to seem rude, Jinyoung, was it? I master a fan site for the two youngest members so I was trying not to miss anything.” Jackson is disassembling his camera and Jinyoung almost wishes he spent as much time staring at the camera as he did starring at the rapper.

“It’s alright,” Jinyoung smiles “but you have to tell me: how much did you spend on that camera?”

Jackson shrugs at this question to Jinyoung’s surprise. “I got the body as a donation when I started my fansite up.” Jinyoung gaps.

“I told you that fansites make a lot of money if they’re good.” Jaebum lightly jabs him in the side; Jinyoung can hear his grin before he sees it.

For the next three hours Jackson describes in detail how he became a fansite master over some pizza and cheap beer in Jinyoung’s loft. He was friends with someone in high school that was a fan of boy bands and often told him about how jealous she was of fansites because of all the time and money they could spare on going to activities. When Jackson had commented that they were rich, his friend told him that a lot of the money is from donations that fans give the fansites in order for them to go and take pictures.

Jackson didn’t think much of it until he was tired of living off ramen and heard about a new boy band about to debut called Got4. At first he was just going to free shows and pop up fan signs he heard about through his social media and weibo but as his pictures started getting more recognition and the donations came rolling in he found himself going to everything he could. Fans asked if he had a website or an archive for his pictures; up to that point he’d been posting his pictures on a forum thread.

With the help of some very frustrated technical support staff he created the fansite Mischief Made, a name that yes, he thought up himself.

He dedicated it to the youngest members: Kim Yugyeom and Bambam “I was originally just taking pictures of Bambam because he didn’t have any fansites when he debut but I realized that Yugyeom was always next to Bambam in my pictures anyways so… it made more money to focus on them both.”

“How much side money do you make?” Jinyoung found himself feeling faint at the number Jackson estimated for him.

“Does the rapper have fan sites?” He asked before he could really stop himself.

“Mark?” Jackson was met with a shy nod. “Yeah, he actually has the most. But a lot of them are pretty shitty in my opinion. I swear they use iPhones.” Jinyoung shudders at the thought.

“What if I became a fansite?” Jinyoung eyes Jaebum in his peripheral vision before he continues, “for Mark.” No reaction.

Jackson fake contemplates the idea before his face spreads into a bigger grin than Jinyoung thought anatomically possible. “I don’t see why not. Jaebum said you were good at taking photos?”

Jinyoung proceeds to show Jackson his portfolio; to which the brunette oo’s and ah’s with distinctly, slightly sarcastic, enthusiasm. “You’d totally kick every other Mark fansites ass.” Jackson lingers at a photo of Jaebum. Its Jinyoung’s favorite. Jaebum had agreed to be Jinyoung’s subject for a photography class project that day and while Jinyoung will deny it with his very soul, Jaebum earned him that A more than his photography skills did. The particular shot that Jackson was looking at was Jaebum, eyes peeping through black winged bangs and sun shining on his face, head slightly cocked and holding a cup of nothing while staring into the camera with vague content.

“They have a fansign next week if you want to try it out? We can post the pictures on my site and see if fans like them.” Jackson offers.

“Sure.” Jinyoung replies, already trying to figure out what camera setting would best suit each member. He’d have to do research on them later, Mark especially, to see how he would best capture the rapper.

Or he could just snap a million shots at once and hope one doesn’t look terrible; Jackson’s suggestion.


	3. lists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jinyoung is mark trash

Jinyoung wondered why every decent shirt he owned had a stain on it as he stared into his now barren closet; a hanger swayed back and forth from his last futile attempt to look presentable in a purple shirt he once wore to a high school dance. His mother was right: that shade was not a good color on him.

“I see you’re doing the usual routine.” Jaebum’s amused face appeared in the doorway of his room. He propped himself against the wall as Jinyoung groaned; this time earning him a chuckle from his older roommate.

“I’ll be ready in five minutes,” Jinyoung said, rethinking the pink button up he threw on his desk earlier.

“So I should tell Jackson to come in 20 minutes.” Jaebum deadpanned.

“If you’re just going to be annoying,”

“Wear the black one,” Jaebum interrupted. “I like that shirt on you.”

If Jinyoung noticed the way Jaebum’s cheeks flushed slightly, he didn’t say anything about it.

When Jackson arrived at their apartment exactly 20 minutes later the three of them set off to the fansign venue. It was only until they were standing outside the doors that Jinyoung realized.

“Wait, Jaebum why are you here?”

Jaebum feigned a hurt expression. “I can’t come?”

_Does Jaebum like the group that much? Is Im Jaebum a fanboy?_

Jinyoung let the possibilities sink in until he noticed a smiling Jaebum standing next to an equally smiling Jackson.

_Oh._

“Nevermind, should we go in soon?” For some unknown reason, he felt nervous. Taking pictures had been a part of his entire life; his mom says when he was little he carried around a little blue toy camera with a white butterfly on top. The camera even had shutter sounds. He cried for two and a half weeks when he dropped it in the bath.

As they entered the venue, Jinyoung started to theorize why he was so nervous. His theory is solidified when he saw him. Mark.

Today Mark adorned himself in a pink baseball cap and a simple tan long sleeve with black jeans. He greeted his fans by doing a flip. Got4 were apparently known to do strategic stage stunts and formations in their dance. He swears he saw a peak of Mark’s stomach as he flipped. Jinyoung wanted to die.

“Jinyoung, you know you should be taking photos right about now right? You just missed Mark’s flip.” Jackson elbowed him back to earth. Jinyoung consciously closed his mouth because apparently, he now liked to openly gawk at male idols.

Too embarrassed to face his companions, he assembled his camera and got to work.

Here’s what Jinyoung managed to learn about Got4 in a single fansign’s time:

Mark was chiseled by the God’s themselves. Move over Mona Lisa, Mark takes the entire fucking cake. Jinyoung always rolled his eyes when writers described their characters with “eyes that sparkled” but he thinks he actually gets it now. Mark’s eyes sparkle. He could barely see them because of his hat and untamed blonde bangs but Jinyoung swears: they sparkle.

Mark is also quite unpredictable. At first he didn’t speak a lot so Jinyoung assumed he was an introvert. But then about half way through the fansign Mark tackled Youngjae to the ground and proceeded to give a loudly protesting boy a kiss on the nose. No, that did not make Jinyoung wish it was him. A little bit after that incident, which according to the girl behind him happened too often, Mark also screamed (loudly) when a fan mentioned a scare cam prank done on him a week ago.

His laugh was also... how does one explain the vocal laughter of an angel? Mark had a deep voice but somehow his laugh was high pitched and contagious. Jinyoung had to force himself not to smile and focus on taking pictures; which is hard when the person distracting you in the person you’re supposed to be focused on.

Confusing right? Jinyoung knows.

Youngjae, the (un)fortunate receiver of Mark’s brutal skinship, had a habit of singing for no apparent reason. Jinyoung counted a total of 7 different songs. Youngjae also laughed, loudly and abundantly. Anything anyone said had the kid smiling and rolling on the floor. Anyone else and Jinyoung would have rolled his eyes behind his skull because  _overkill much?_ But not Youngjae. He just genuinely found everything funny. It was actually kind of endearing.

It took a couple minutes into the fansign for Jinyoung to register that Jaebum was also taking pictures. He was taking pictures of Youngjae. Jinyoung would have to sidenote that for another time.

The two maknaes of the group were all over the place. He means this quite literally. Jinyoung felt the need to drag them both by the ear into a corner and tell them to settle down. The older of the two 97 liners, Bambam, was more over the top than Yugyeom, his younger counterpart, but Jinyoung soon realized that Bambam’s crazy fueled the latter's, creating chaos.

At one point they’d said something to Mark in English and apparently it was offensive (Jinyoung skips English Language a lot) because the leader proceeded to chase them around the arena as Youngjae laughed and the fans cheered. Jinyoung wonders how Youngjae’s jaw wasn’t on the floor at this point. Jinyoung also wonders if every fansign was this crazy.

He actually found himself hoping it would be.

 

-

The actual fansign portion of the event came up and Jinyoung suddenly remembered that he might have left the stove on until Jaebum reassured him that a) he doesn’t cook and b) he doesn’t know how to turn on their stove.

He really wanted to die.

Jackson went first and Jaebum chose to go last. Jinyoung smiled at the unmistakable sign of support, not that he was nervous or anything. Not like he was a 16 year old girl going to confess to some guy, nope. His heart definitely wasn’t racing.

“Hey Jackson,” Youngjae greeted him with a high five as he flipped through the album looking for his page to sign.

Jackson had apparently said something funny because Youngjae broke out laughing, earning a stern look from a staff member which more so meant: “keep the line going.”

Jinyoung walked up to him after Jackson slide over to greet Yugyeom. “Hi! Jackson said you’re going to become a Mark fansite?” Youngjae greeted him with the second most dazzling smiling he’d seen that day.

“Uh,” _Get it together, Jinyoung._ “Yeah, I think it’d be good photography practice. I’m Park Jinyoung.”  

Youngjae broke out laughing (again) to Jinyoung’s confusion. “So Jackson wasn’t lying. You’re our CEO’s reincarnation.” Youngjae giggled and handed him the signed album.

Jinyoung bowed to thank him, to which the younger boy mimicked. “I hope to see you soon, JYP.” Youngjae laughed at his own joke. He was actually pretty cute up close. Jinyoung wanted to pinch his cheeks and buy him ice cream.

Jackson had apparently made the same joke to everyone because Yugyeom asked him right away if his name was Park Jinyoung. “Bambam! His name really is JYP!” The boy nudged at his friend next to him, to which Jackson protested with a firm but whiny “Bambam, how dare you ignore your hyung who’s come to see you and only you?”

This was met with a mock disgusted expression from Yugyeom and a follow up eye roll. The kid was sassy, Jinyoung will give him that, and taller than he expected. Was he really only 18?

“I hope to see you around more, CEO.” Yugyeom wiggled his eyebrows as Jinyoung passed him to where Bambam sat.

“Wow, Jackson joked about recruiting more fanboys but I didn’t think he’d actually do it. I owe him $50.”

“You and Jackson hang out?”

“He buys me meat sometimes. He was my first fansite.” Bambam’s eyes filled with a vague sense of compassion before he snapped back into idol-greeting-a-fan mode.

“I have to say I’m a little surprised?” Jinyoung raised an eyebrow.

“Is it because I’m not handsome?” Bambam pouted, causing Jinyoung to actually reach over and pinch his cheeks.

“You’re the cutest,” he cooed, receiving a scoff from Bambam but nevertheless a hint of approval.

“You’re worse than Jackson.”

Jinyoung was about to move on when he heard a staff member ask Jaebum to stop holding up the line and to move to Bambam. Youngjae quickly said sorry and Jinyoung only assumes that his roommate bowed in apology but all time to process the significance of said event dissipated when he realized he was standing in front of Mark Tuan.  

If Jinyoung thought Mark was breathtakingly beautiful through his camera lens… there weren’t enough words to describe how he looked up close.

Yes to confirm: Mark’s eyes did indeed sparkle.

“Hi, Jinyoung,” his voice was like chocolate.

“Hi.” Jinyoung hates himself for not knowing what else to say. Mark signed his album in silence and sent Jinyoung a smile as he handed it back to him.

“I hope to see you next time,” Mark’s canines showed as he grinned, “I like your shirt, by the way.”

Jinyoung could walk on air.

 

-

“He said he wanted to see me again,” Jinyoung practically squealed as he made his way outside.

Jackson grabbed him into a hug as they walked to get some lunch and to review their pictures. Jinyoung and Jaebum were going to choose their top 10 pictures to post on Jackson’s page and then they were going to design a logo for Jaebum. Jinyoung already had one made from an online web art class during in freshman year of college. “So you’ve taken a liking to my Mark?”

And if Jackson notices Jinyoung blush, he sure as hell says it. “AWH LOOK YOU’RE BLUSHING.”

 _The blatant disrespect;_ Jinyoung scoffed.

“He’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen, like ever.” _And I live with Jaebum._

“I heard him say he liked your shirt,” Jackson sang suggestively as he entered the restaurant. Was it hot in the restaurant or was it Jinyoung? Or was it that Jinyoung’s blush emitted excessive amounts of heat causing the restaurant to become hot?

“Ok, ok. Stop teasing him, Jackson.” Jaebum smiled and dragged Jackson by the neck to a nearby table, Jinyoung following suit. He should really ask how those two met. Jaebum only grabbed people like that if they were close to him. Or he was drunk and horny. Two out of the three options could apply here. Jinyoung would have to remember to ask about that also.

After they ordered, Jackson a burger, Jaebum pasta and Jinyoung a panini, they began discussing which pictures to put. Jaebum’s pictures turned out a lot better than Jinyoung had anticipated. Sure, Jaebum takes way better selfies than Jinyoung but he never knew a digital camera could focus light that well. Jinyoung was impressed to say the least.

“Maybe you should have become the photographer…” Jinyoung gapped at a particularly stunning picture of Youngjae whose eyes had disappeared into crescent moons as he laughed at Yugyeom who had just toppled Bambam over by attempting to get a piggy back ride from the far skinnier counterpart.

“It’s just because the kid is so damn photogenic. I couldn’t get a bad picture if I tried.” Jaebum slurped his coke product like he didn’t just give Youngjae one of the highest compliments Jinyoung had ever heard him give anyone.

The list of things Jinyoung has to ask Jaebum about is getting out of control at this point.

“I’ll post these up and we’ll see how people respond. I’m sure they’ll love your pictures but we should still trial run it first. After that we can talk about opening up websites and donation boxes for you guys.” Jackson said as he tapped away at this laptop.

“You’re cute when you’re serious.” Jaebum cooed and Jackson all but knocked his drink onto his laptop as his body flailed in motions that Jinyoung could only interpret as a minor seizure brought on by pure happiness.

That being said, this particular moment shot it’s way to the top of Jinyoung’s list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter lived up to the fansign hype TT I promise to try to add more Got4 interactions amongst themselves


	4. one year

It was the one year anniversary of Got4’s debut which meant Jinyoung, Jaebum and Jackson juggled DSLRs on one hand and group order forms in the other. If they did schoolwork it was often late into the night and fueled by 2 cups of coffee.

Their fansites were dubbed as MMM, an acronym for their fansites: Mark my Words, Mischief Made and My Solar, respectively, Jinyoung’s, Jackson’s and Jaebum’s. Business was (Jackson’s words) off the chain. In a short month, both Jinyoung and Jaebum collected enough donation money to buy brand new cameras and lenses while still being able to afford the weekly groceries.  The money kept rolling in as Got4 became more and more popular; their sales on banners and side-merch hitting an all-time high during their anticipated 1st win.

Jinyoung was able to start a feeble savings account for his own studio. It would take some time as a majority of his side money goes into feeding himself or his tuition but it was enough for him to forget about the dusty shoebox under his bed. Things were looking up and for the first time in a long time, Jinyoung’s mind was filled with nothing but certainty that he wasn’t making a mistake following his dream.

Sure he had to take a detour and become a fansite master but it beats his original back up plan: stripping.

With everything that’s changed since the end of his junior year in college, Jinyoung wonders why he found himself in the exact same position he was a year ago. He had absolutely nothing to wear. The dreaded purple shirt was starting to look dangerously inviting to him.

Thankfully Jaebum has better fashion sense and mental stability than Jinyoung did (that day).

“This white button up would go well with your black denim pants,” his roommate held up a shirt Jinyoung was pretty sure he didn’t previously own. “Happy one year anniversary, Jinyoungie.” Jaebum flashed him a smile.

Jinyoung thinks his heart fluttered a little.

He should probably overanalyze it more but due to his lapse of good judgement following the impending one year fanmeet; Jinyoung settled for: “I can’t believe you let me pick up the tab for drinks last night when you had enough money to buy everyone random gifts.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you, Bummie” Jinyoung grinned.

“Bummie? That’s new.” Jackson’s head peeped itself from Jaebum’s stature and Jinyoung feigns annoyance.

“It’s called knocking you know.”

Jinyoung’s venomous words bounce off Jackson, who responds: “then why do I have a key to your apartment?”

“Because Jaebum hates me.” Jinyoung sighs as he buttons up the shirt which unsurprisingly fit him like a damn glove. He'd expect nothing less from his best friend.

“Wear a coat. It’s kind of cold out today.” Jaebum commented before pulling Jackson out into their shared living room by his ear. Jackson, at this point, had already managed to incorporate the nickname Bummie into everything he said about 7 times using several different octaves. By the time the two reached the living room, all Jinyoung could hear was a faint whine via Jackson that sounded vaguely like “why does Jinyoung get to call you that but I can’t?” followed by a slight “ow.”

Got4 really exploded around their second comeback. Jinyoung had actually grown pretty attached to them; not in a fanboy kind of way, in a motherly “I’ve looked after these kids for a year and they’re growing up so fast and I’m proud but kind of sad” kind of way. Also Jinyoung may think that Mark lights up the entire Seoul city every time he smiles. But it’s platonic. He thinks.

When they arrived at the venue, they found that a spot in line had already been saved for them. It was this weird phenomenon. About a month into establishing their fansites a couple girls actually created fansites _for them._ There were really only three or four but Jinyoung still doesn’t know how idols deal with the constant attention. He mentally flinches every time he hears a shutter aimed at him.

Got4 have come to be known for three things in the past year: strategic formations, stage stunts and having three dedicated, handsome fanboys. Jinyoung may or may not be proud of the last one.

The security let everyone in one by one and the anticipation bubbled inside Jinyoung ready to explode until he sees him; sees Mark.

Jinyoung will never be able to describe the feeling he gets when he sees the older boy smile. Today he was styled in a black bomber jacket and black jeans. If looks could kill, he would have definitely dropped dead where he stood. 

The boys were all in high spirits today. Bambam was bouncing all over the stage during their interviews as Mark ran around trying to calm him down. His hyperactive state only rubbed itself off on the other two members who had initiated a game of keep-away with Bambam’s microphone. Jinyoung is pretty sure that the case of the missing microphone remains to this day unsolved because Mark had put it under a towel when no one was watching him.

He may be the leader, but he was the most mischievous as far as Jinyoung could tell.

The fanmeet ended with teary eyes and countless bows and thank you’s. The stage dims with their song, “Forever Young”.

There’s this feeling called post-concert-sadness that settles into someone when the high of a concert fades and they’re left feeling empty because it’s over. Kind of like that feeling when you don’t know what to do with your hands during a formal picture but in this case your hands equate to your entire existence and the formal picture is your life. Jinyoung never really felt it. He moved on with his daily life after a day at “work”. He woke up to Jaebum’s home made breakfast, complained about the amount of schoolwork he certainly did not get done, edited and uploaded pictures and tried to finish his homework that no, he should not have waited the night before to do.

So Jinyoung was more than a little dazed to wake up the next morning to a text from an unknown number.

 

**Unknown (10:21am)** : hi is this Park Jinyoung?

**Jinyoung (12:32pm** ): yes…? Who is this?  
  
**Unknown (12:32pm)** : Jackson didn’t tell you did he? It’s me, Mark.

 

_You’ve got to be shitting me._

“JAEBUMMMMM” Jinyoung screamed in horror

Jinyoung hears the distinct sound of a pan dropping on the counter accompanied by footsteps “What?” A slightly huffing and wide eyed Jaebum enters his room, “what’s wrong?” He scans the proximity for danger and seems to relax when he sees a gapping Jinyoung sitting criss-crossed on the bed, hair still disheveled to one side.

“What did Jackson do,” was all the Jinyoung could manage to say in his shocked state.. The other doesn’t miss the way Jaebum’s shoulders tense a little at his question.

“I can’t believe he actually…” Jaebum closed his eyes before drawing in a breath. “He told me that he was going to give your number to Mark last night after the fanmeet. I didn’t think he was serious.”

“I thought he only really talked to Bambam?”

“I guess he’s getting around.”

Before Jinyoung could detect the faint speckle of annoyance in Jaebum’s voice he began scrolling through his contacts before landing on “Jackass” and hitting call. The phone rang three times.

“Hey,” Jackson’s voice dripped with sleep.

“Hey??? That’s all you have to say for yourself Wang Jackson?” Jinyoung screamed as Jaebum rolled his eyes, exiting the room more gracefully than when he came.

“Come have breakfast when you’re done,” Jaebum shouted from the hallway.

Jinyoung nodded even though his roommate had no viable way of seeing him from the kitchen.

“What did you say to him, Jackson?” He felt a migraine coming along as he pinched his nose bridge. He knew the day would come when he finally committed a crime of passion against the Hong Kong native but he never imagined it would be for something like this. He always thought it would be for something much more insulting like the time Jackson ate his leftover pizza from the night before. He came pretty close that time, but this time he was already formulating the exact way to cover it up.

“That you looked at him like you were a kid and he was the candy factory.”

Jinyoung thinks if he tied Jackson’s corpse to rocks and threw it in the Han river it could easily turn to fish food during this season.

“Before you mentally plan my death… you should know he looks at you the same way.”

Jinyoung feels his heart stop.

“We will talk about this later,” he growls.

“You’re welcome.” Jackson sings before hanging up and leaving a starstruck Jinyoung on the other line.

It takes him a full minute to fully process everything that had happened that morning. He tries not to think about all the stupid things Jackson probably said to Mark about him because he will most likely combust and decides to focus on the fact that Mark _looks at you the same._

 

**Jinyoung (12:43pm)** : It’s Jackson, of course he didn’t. 

**Mark (12:44pm)** : haha! I’m not surprised.

 

The smell of pancakes mixes itself in the air and Jinyoung suddenly becomes one of those floating animals that sniff their way towards the smell of a cooling pie on the window sill. He sits himself down, grin plastered on his face, and waits for Jaebum to set the pancakes down in front of him.

“I take it that Jackson did in fact give Mark your number?”

“What makes you say that?”  
  
“You’re pouring the syrup onto your lap.”

Jinyoung stares at his ruined pair of sweatpants for five minutes as another text lights up his phone.

 

**Mark (1:00pm)** : Did you want to grab some dinner tonight? I don’t have any schedules and Jackson told me you like Italian. :D

 

"Aren't you even a little annoyed that Jackson gave out your number to a random stranger? The last time someone did that, Wonpil was it? You didn't speak to him for three days." Jaebum notes through a mouth full of pancake that he woofs down, charmingly, with orange juice. 

"But Jaebum, it's Mark," 

Jaebum rolls his eyes before resuming back to his pancakes. Jinyoung pats the syrup away as he mentally declares his grey sweatpants beyond saving. The two eat the rest of their breakfast in quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohhh the suspense!! Sorry for a slow update! I finished my college year and now I'll have more time to write :)


	5. france

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> markjin's first date

“Jaebum can you help me pick out a shirt for my date- I mean for when I go out- for tonight?” Jinyoung feels himself blushing as his ears threaten to evaporate off his head from the heat. No matter how you looked at it, according to Jackson, it had to have been a date. Mark never spends his free time away from his bed unless it was something worthwhile. At this sentiment Jackson also wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Jinyoung is pretty sure if he puts poison into Jackson’s food he wouldn’t suspect a thing.

“I don’t really have an opinion,” Jaebum doesn’t spare his roommate a glance up from his laptop, “I have an essay to finish.”

“Ok. I guess I’ll just wear my lucky blazer.” Jinyoung hummed, purposefully or not ignoring the fact that Jaebum’s computer wasn’t powered on.

Mark told him that his manager would come pick Jinyoung up at this apartment; which is why he was standing outside hopping on his toes and trying to look as nonchalant as a nervous wreck could look. His lucky blazer be damned, he’d never felt this uncomfortably anxious about a date before. Jinyoung isn’t exactly a popular bachelor in his college, but he gets one or two propositions every now and then. Girls really dug photographers.

Too bad that shipped sailed when he turned fifteen.

The very first person Jinyoung had told was Im Jaebum, who naturally as his best friend, laughed in his face and then later apologized when he saw Jinyoung crying. “I thought you hated me,” Jinyoung had said in between sobs. “How could I hate you, my best friend? My Jinyoungie. I’m laughing because I can’t believe it took you so long to tell me.” Fifteen year old Jaebum had flashed Jinyoung the most blindingly supportive smile he’d ever seen. It was actually kind of creepy; endearing mind you, but still creepy. Jinyoung continued to cry as the older soothed him to sleep. He woke up the next morning to find himself almost drowning in a pool of Jaebum’s spit from sleeping on his shoulders the night before. Normally he would have moved, would have teased Jaebum about nesting flies from sleeping with his mouth hanging open like that.

Instead however, Jinyoung found himself smiling as he tried to shift Jaebum into a more comfortable position -sleeping while sitting up was probably not good for his posture. Somehow after he got Jaebum on his side with a blanket over his arms, Jinyoung found himself asleep again; feeling as safe and peaceful as a newly ousted homosexual with an impending 5,000 word essay due in two days could feel.

Every so often, Jinyoung likes to thank him for that night. Jaebum always answers Jinyoung the same way: a lingering smile that speaks a thousand words. Then he goes about whatever Jinyoung had interrupted him doing and they continue their coexistence once again.

By the time Mark’s manager showed up, Jinyoung was able to calm a majority of his nerves. During the trip Jinyoung was given a set of guidelines to follow for when he went out with Mark. He was not to take pictures or post about who he was with and should fangirls find them, which manager doubts they will because Mark chose a hole in the wall restaurant, Jinyoung is to pretend to be his friend. They were to keep any PDA that might ensue to private locations only.

“I don’t mean to sound harsh about it. It’s my job to protect Mark and his career. He’s an idol. you understand the situation, right?”

Unfortunately Jinyoung had failed to think that aspect through.

The restaurant was in fact a hole in the wall. Jinyoung wouldn’t even have noticed it if he wasn’t escorted. A subtle white neon sign that read “italy” in cursive hung itself under a polished black door against worn red brick. Jinyoung took in a breath and walked inside. What he was met with, however, was something he’d only seen happen in French bistro movies. The place was extravagantly decorated with chandeliers and draped curtains. The lights dimmed as star-lights twinkled artificially above him.

“Jinyoung, the table is this way.” He was startled by the sudden hand on the small of his back but wordlessly followed a very handsomely dressed Mark to their table. And yes, it did have candles and a rose like the movies.  And yes, the nerves were back.

“You really know how to woo a guy on a first date.”

“This is a date?” Jinyoung’s heart dropped at the question. Mark giggled. “I’m kidding.”

He wanted to die.

The menu was in French with English translations and therefore, Jinyoung understood none of it. He could make out a few words here and there but for the most part he sat internally cussing out his high school self for sleeping during English language while boring holes into the menu. Thankfully Mark took the initiative to order for them both; claiming that they served the best pasta he’d had in Seoul.

Jinyoung didn’t have the heart to tell him that he didn’t like Alfredo sauce.

Mark wasn’t much on talking. They breezed through every category of small talk Jinyoung was equipped with from how nice the restaurant looked to how the weather was acting lately. He was always met with vague and brief replies. But Jinyoung was not one to be deterred by introverts. He’d been around Jackson too long to know that everyone becomes talkative if you just hit on the right nail.

“Was being an idol your first career choice?” Jinyoung went with a blunt approach.

“No, not really,” a brief pause almost had him changing conversation; to his delight, however, Mark pats his lips with a napkin and says: “I was scouted in my cafeteria. I stood on a table to do some stupid high school boy stunt my friends dared me to do and this lady approaches me and asks if I want to be a star.” He takes a second to smile as he clearly plays the day through his head.

“I didn’t really know what I wanted to be when I grew up, you know? I just thought I’d eventually figure it out. So I thought becoming a trainee wouldn’t be so bad… especially if it got me out of college applications for another year.” He takes a look at Jinyoung and his eyes widen slightly with panic. “What? Is there something on my face?”

Jinyoung doesn’t even care that he was caught staring at the way Mark’s eyes disappeared into small crescents yet still managing to twinkle with a childlike mischief when he smiled. His nerves had melted away by the second glass of wine. “Nothing, just trying to picture you in high school, awkwardly going through puberty like the rest of us mortals,” he said, happy it didn’t sound as cheesy out loud as it did in his head.

Mark seemed to search his eyes for something before awkwardly shifting in his seat. _Cute._ Jinyoung thought. He thinks he saw the older blush.

“So when did you realize you wanted to be an idol?” Mark seemed to ponder this for a second.

“It was the end of the summer I was training. They had given me a trial contract of about three months because I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to perform. I’ve never once thought in my life that I could be like, famous, you know?” Jinyoung nods, if only to urge him to continue on, (because with a face like that how could he _not_ get famous?).  “Anyways… at the time I was considering going home. Training is a bitch. Constantly being told you need to improve at rapping in a language you couldn’t even fully comprehend was exhausting.” Mark sighs.

“I can’t imagine what Got4 would look like if you weren’t their leader.” Jinyoung isn’t sure why he said that, to be honest. He just thought it needed to be said. It seems to be the right thing because again, Mark smiles.

“It was a few days before I was supposed to terminate my contract with JYP. I had just finished going through one of the worst, and I mean god awful, dance training sessions of my life.” The image of a sweaty Mark definitely did not momentarily distract Jinyoung from the conversation at hand. “I went to the roof to get away from it all. I thought I was alone; that’s when I heard Youngjae crying. I can still hear his voice when he asked me ‘is it true? Are you leaving us?’ It broke my damn heart when I heard him say that.”

“You stayed for Youngjae?” Jinyoung prodded, ignoring the pang of jealousy the new piece of information rose in him.

“No, yes, kind of; there’s more.” Mark stuttered a bit. “I didn’t say anything to anyone so I wasn’t sure how he found out but by the next day it seemed everyone had heard I was going to end my contract. Youngjae wouldn’t even look at me even though we had a duet to perform together that day. He, of course, killed the song. I more or so mispronounced over half of the lyrics. Anyways, when we got off stage he looked at me and he gave me this iced look that I had never seen on him before and he asks ‘so was all of this a joke to you? All the times we ate ramen at 3am because we practiced so hard that day that we forgot to eat lunch or dinner…all the times you told Yugyeom that he was as good a singer as he was a dancer, that Bambam's homesickness was worth it…was it all a joke to you?’”

Jinyoung doesn’t know when he had reached out and put his hand over Mark’s but he pushes the lurking embarrassment away and squeezes his hand for support. He can’t help but feel bad that he asked Mark such a personal question on the first date. But he certainly can’t deny not wanting to know how this story ends.

“I couldn’t find words to say to him. I just stood there and watched him walk away, but for the rest of the week I couldn’t get his face out of my head. Yugyeom told me not to feel guilty because he’s Yugyeom and too mature for his age but Bambam refused to speak to me.” Mark pauses again. “Sorry… I don’t normally get this emotional on a first date.”

“It’s ok. I’m really happy you’re comfortable enough to share this with me.” Jinyoung smiles and Mark’s tension seems to melt away.

“I ended up staying in Korea for an extra two weeks because my parents wanted to vacation there. It felt so weird to sleep in and just idly pass the time like a normal person again, you know? I realized I kind of missed the dorms. So I went and looked up news on JYP rookies to see how everyone was doing and an article speculated that JYPE had put a halt on their plans to debut a boy group. I remembered that Youngjae was rumored to be a vocalist in the group. He was so excited when he heard that rumor. He stayed up all night.”

“I just… it was so unfair you know? I don’t know what I expected to happen but I went back to the dorms the next day and of course, Youngjae slammed the door in my face. With Yugyeom’s help, and a bucket of chicken, I managed to get him to open the door. We played games in silence for the night, Yugyeom, Youngjae, Bambam and I. I fell asleep there and woke up to the sound of other trainees screaming down the halls as they normally did. I was halfway through my morning vocal class when I realized I wasn’t even supposed to be there.”

“That’s when you realized it.” Jinyoung stated,

“That’s when I realized it.” Mark repeated. “I _was_ supposed to be there. And I’ve never looked back since.”

“That’s kind of poetically beautiful. When you weren’t a trainee is when you realized that you wanted to be one.”

“Yeah,” Mark cuts off whatever he was going to say and blushes as he suddenly finds the napkin in his lap to be extremely fascinating. Jinyoung thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen; excluding the time Jaebum brought a stray dog home and woke up to it nuzzled under his sweater for warmth. It’s still Jinyoung’s contact photo of him, four years later. “Sorry I talked so much today.”

Jinyoung bursts out laughing. “What is it?” Mark pouts, amusing him even more.

“Nothing, nothing,” he covers his mouth as his smile deepens. His date pouts further.

They finish their dinner in a comfortable rhythm as they exchanged stories from their past. Jinyoung shares the time that he almost burned down the apartment trying to make toast because he thought the numbers meant seconds not minutes and Mark shares the time he asked Yugyeom to do laundry and long story short, everything was pink for three weeks. The stylists were not happy. Jinyoung’s favorite story involves their pet Coco, a full bladder and Youngjae’s brand new gaming console. The ending is more surprising than you'd think.

“I’m surprised we didn’t get mobbed today.” Jinyoung says to no one as the two walk a platonic distance apart. Mark insisted that he should walk him home after their date and Mark’s manager insisted on following them in his car.

“I’m very discreet.” Mark grins and Jinyoung practically stops breathing.

They stop in front of his apartment and he swears that Mark looks good in any lighting. Yes, including the very dim and unflattering lighting that was his building’s front porch. Mark should have looked like a psycho killer grinning the way he did under overhead light but to Jinyoung he looked beautiful, indulgent, ethereal.

He didn’t know what was happening until he felt his lips make contact with Mark’s palm. How many times was he going to wish for his own death today, he wonders.

“Don’t be mad.” Mark breathed, his face still a hand and half a centimeter away from Jinyoung’s.

“I’m not mad,” he whispers.

“I really don’t want my first time kissing you to be when my manager is parked a few feet away,”

“Oh,” Jinyoung suddenly forgot every word he knew.

“But I do, I really do want to kiss you, Jinyoung.” Mark lowers his hand and there’s nothing but silence between them. Jinyoung counts 6 heart beats before Mark kisses his forehead and walks away, leaving a wide eyed Jinyoung standing; his mind not quite yet caught up with reality.

“Jinyoung? What are you doing just standing there?” He nearly shits his pants when he hears the voice before registering that it’s Jackson.

“Holy fuck, you scared me.” Jinyoung hears his heartbeat in his ears.

“You’re the one standing outside alone looking like you just saw a ghost,” Jackson made a move past him to get to the garbage.

Jinyoung notices that Jackson is throwing something into the recycling container “Why are you throwing away glass?”

“Oh uh,” Jackson hesitates, “I just knocked over a vase. Sorry. I’ll pay for it.”

“Damn right you’ll pay for it.” Jinyoung scoffs.

Jackson rolls his eyes before he walks away. He’s almost glad that Jackson had been leaving; who knows how long he would have stood there replaying the same five seconds of his life over and over again. It didn’t even feel real to him. Was that really Mark?

“Jaebum? Are you up?” No response. “How the hell did Jackson break that vase? Since when did we even own a vase?” No response again. Jinyoung shuffles over to Jaebum’s room and cracks the door open to find a sleeping Jaebum. He quietly shuts the door and decides that he can ask Jackson himself tomorrow morning. Not that he was getting sleep anytime soon. Jaebum, that lucky bastard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for posting at god awful hours of the night


	6. oh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark and jaebum meet and jinyoung almost loses an eye

If someone had told college freshman Jinyoung that his college senior self was going to be dating an idol in a #1 selling group, he would have been very concerned as to what substance said person had misused to come to that conclusion. Yet here he sat, mouth half full with a piece of seaweed from the breakfast kimbap Jaebum had made them stuck in his teeth, listening to Jaebum ask him that very thing. 

"So, you and Mark are official?" Jaebum said in passing, like he was asking Jinyoung if the weather was hot today.

"As official as a secret relationship between an idol and their fansite master can get, I think so.."

Jaebum's head snaps up, "you think?"

"I just..." Jinyoung isn't quite sure where to begin; fully aware of how protective Jaebum can get, "we haven't really discussed the status of our relationship? We haven't even hooked up," He's pleased to see the tension in his roommate's shoulders release at his last statement.

"I think Mark wants to take things super slow," Jinyoung states, feeling a sense of accomplishment as whatever elephant in the room had seemed to dissolve away as they both returned to eating their breakfast in a comforting silence. Jaebum had been awfully tense lately; he blames it on the weather and their A/C system being possessed by the devil since it seemed to turn off whenever it pleased; even in 100 degree Seoul heat. 

"Oh, right, I forgot to ask. Did Youngjae ever text you?"

A loud clang is heard as Jaebum's chopsticks hit his plate. "That was you?" 

Jinyoung isn't sure why he sees a flash of hostility in Jaebum's eyes. He must be imaging things on account of the heat. "I thought you liked him so I gave your number to Mark, that's all." He smiled. 

Jaebum's eyebrows fly to the top of his head in a fit of incredulous luster. "You thought what?" A piece of rice falls from the elder's lips in slow motion as Jinyoung tries to figure out what to say in what can only be described as a scene in a bad korean drama. His mouth opened and closed itself of it's own free will as Jinyoung tries to process his roommate's reaction. As if on cue, a loud, high pitched shout comes from one Jackson Wang as he comes bursting into their kitchen with "I HEARD JAEBUM MADE KIMBAP!" as his greeting of choice. 

"Fuck, Jackson, indoor voice." Jaebum seems to snap out of whatever mood he was in before and goes into the kitchen to grab an extra plate of food for the overly excited male, muttering something about why they gave him a key to their apartment in the first place. All seems calm once again; Jinyoung hears the A/C turn itself back on. That fucking devil.

"So, I hear you and Mark are getting pretty serious." Jackson practically whispers to Jinyoung as if he were keeping it a secret from the ears on the walls.

"We went on a couple dates but we haven't really talked about it."

"Talked about what?" Jaebum interrupts with a plate full of what Jinyoung can only assume to be the last of all the kimbap. He mentally pouts because  _I hate sharing Jaebum's food, why did we get you a key again?_

"Nothing," Jackson's attention diverts to the food in front of them as he babbles on about Got4's next couple of activities and when they should start releasing their new banner designs for sale. Jinyoung tunes them out as he more or less overthinks his relationship with Mark.

Mark, the idol boyfriend (or not) that he's been seeing every time the latter doesn't have a schedule. It's been a few weeks but somehow, as if by an act of God himself, Jinyoung has barely managed to make out with Mark, let alone hook anywhere in the direction of up without Coco barking at his feet (that damn dog) or Bambam stumbling in on them and promptly shrieking, killing whatever moment the two were sharing. It's amazing the amount of plotting it takes to get Mark alone even when the two practically live in Mark's dorm during their dates. And Jinyoung uses the word "date" lightly.

He understood why Mark couldn't go out. He would never risk Mark's career by dragging him out when he wasn't supposed to be but Jinyoung couldn't help but find himself bored of seeing the same four walls over and over again. It's not so much the company that bothered him, but the surroundings. In conclusion really, Jinyoung just wanted to do what normal couples did; the selfies, the couple rings, the long walks without an inconspicuous van cruising behind them at a suffocating distance. JInyoung wanted more than anything to hold Mark's hand in public; to openly be his. But he know's it's not possible. Youngjae once told him it was pretty romantic that their love is practically forbidden. An idol and the ultimate fanboy. 

Still they weren't all bad times. Jinyoung recalls when Mark made a fort out of the kitchen table in his dorm for him. All his members were out at some party for a fellow group in their company and he had gotten an urgent text from his (not) boyfriend to come to the dorms "right away!!!!!" and to "NOT ASK ANY QUESTIONS JUST COME DAMNIT." He arrived to dim lights and candles and a grown ass boy smiling with the energy of a five year old as seas of soft blankets and pillows surrounded him 

"Surprise," Mark grinned even wider at Jinyoung's initial shock. 

Jinyoung woke up fully clothed and to the smell of coffee and toaster strudel that looked more burnt than it actually tasted, or so he reassured Mark. 

"So anyways, Bambam invited us over today because no one has schedules and the rest of them really want to meet the two of you personally. Mostly Jaebum because Youngjae thinks you're the 'coolest hyung he's ever seen!'" Jackson eye rolls as Jaebum feigns a sense of humbleness. But let's be real, he know's he's chic. It's in his twitter bio for the fansite. 

"I really don't want to go," Jaebum deadpans.

Jackson takes a moment to process the flat rejection before saying "So anyways, Bambam invited us over-" He only grins as Jaebum drops his chopsticks for the second time that morning in annoyance at his friend's persistence.

"Why don't you want to go? Do you have plans today?" Jinyoung pips in, having been meaning to introduce Mark to Jaebum ever since their first date. Jaebum's been unexpectedly busy lately with some online writing class that Jinyoung didn't even know he was taking. He sure writes a lot these days; Jinyoung's noticed piles of notebooks and pens piling up on their coffee table as his friend writes deep into the night. He's sometimes greeted by the rare sight of Jaebum waking up later than him in the mornings as he's passed out on the couch, pen still hanging dangerously in his hand and his glasses askew. Jinyoung keeps a folder of them for a future collage he plans to attack Jaebum with when the time is right. 

"I just have some writing to do for that class-" Jaebum is interrupted.

"Class? What class?" Jackson furrows his eyebrows as he chops on the last of the kimbap.

"Can't you put it off for a couple of hours? You've been working so hard I'm actually starting to get worried about you," Jinyoung pouts slightly. It's unusual for Jaebum to work this much at a writing class and for that matter, not show Jinyoung any of his work. He always showed the younger his writing when he finished, if anything other than to give Jinyoung some new reading material to quench his boredom. 

Jaebum seems to weigh the choices mentally as he looks back from Jackson and then to Jinyoung. As if already knowing the outcome, Jackson begins gathering the plates at the table even though no, Jinyoung was not finished with his kimbap yet. He looks over at Jaebum triumphantly and saunters his way to the kitchen sink. Plates are heard clattering in the background as Jaebum submissively sighs before running his hands through his hair and somehow looks more tired than when he woke up. Jinyoung worries silently but nevertheless goes off to get ready as Jaebum tells Jackson to give them 15 minutes before heading out. While his roommate was, of course, ready in under those 15 minutes; Jinyoung was still debating the level of casualness he should be dressing. Sure he had met all the members at one point but something about having everyone, especially Mark, meet his best friend, his rather protective and judgmental best friend, for the first time made his stomach flip. He wonders how Mark can fly through the air so effortlessly when Jinyoung was about to throw up under the seemingly simple matter.

Finally when he had decided on casual jeans and a t-shirt, Jinyoung headed to the living room to meet his friends. "Mark's a good guy, you don't have to worry." Jackson says to Jaebum in a hushed tone. 

"Are you already interrogating?" Jinyoung grinned. Jaebum did this with all his boyfriends; he always got protective and fussed over him every time he went out on a date. No one was ever good enough for Jinyoung and while some found it odd, he found it more than endearing his friend took the time and energy to cyber stalk his boyfriends and made sure he wasn’t dating someone who was a) married, b) a serial killer or c) other. The other is subject to imagination.

He was met with eye rolls from both parties as they hurried out the door.

It didn’t occur to Jinyoung to give Mark a heads up about them all coming until he was already in the elevator. He suddenly wondered what consequences would befall them if he pressed the emergency stop and postponed the meet up for say… a couple of hours. His hands began to sweat and he bounced slightly.

“Relax, Jinyoungie. I’ll go easy on him, ok?” Jaebum grabbed his hand for reassurance as the doors dinged open. They had arrived. He felt himself squeeze Jaebum’s hand as Jackson lead them to the door Jinyoung had stood at a handful of times yet it seemed unfamiliar to him. Jaebum’s grip tightened as if sensing his nerves spike again in an attempt to calm them back down. Jackson barely knocked before the door swung open and a very eccentric Bambam jumped into Jackson’s arms with a loud shriek.

“JACKSONNNN” He shouts.

“BAMBAMMM” The other echoes as if it’s their mating call.

Jackson carries the younger, legs wrapped around his waist, into the main living room of the dorms. Jinyoung leads Jaebum in despite the nervousness he feels and is greeted by Youngjae absently saying hello as he attempts to beat his record at whatever game he was playing that week. Youngjae flew through games like Jinyoung flew through books –quickly and often carelessly as the world remains dead to him until he finishes.

“I should have guessed that Jackson was over by the shriek,” Jinyoung heard Mark chuckle. “Jinyoung?” His (not) boyfriend questioned; evident shock in his voice.

“Did Bambam not tell you we were coming over?” He tsk’d at the younger boy who only shrugged and turned his attention back to Jackson.

“No he told us about 30 minutes ago… I just…” Mark’s eyebrows furrowed and Jinyoung mirrored.

“What? Is there something in my teeth?”

“No…” He trails off as he runs his fingers through his hair. The room was filled with countless beeps as Youngjae continued to level up and Bambam laughed at a vine Jackson was showing him but somehow the room seemed too quiet between the three of them.

“Hi, I’m Im Jaebum, Jinyoung’s friend.” He extends a hand out to the older boy, who shakes it, meeting Jaebum's gaze. Jinyoung thanks God that his best friend was never one to shy away from meeting new people, unlike him who had somehow lost all functionality in his vocal chords.

“I’m Mark.”

“So I’ve heard.” Jaebum flashed him a smile that should have looked friendly but somehow came off as the type of smile a cowboy gives you when you’re standing off on opposite sides of a field and he knows he’s going to draw his gun faster regardless of the circumstances. They part ways as Jaebum breaks the handshake and plops himself next to Jackson and Bambam, suddenly too interested in a vine Bambam was now showing Jackson. 

“He promised he'd be nice,” Jinyoung muttered bitterly before taking his boyfriend's hand and sitting them both on the couch as they watched Youngjae kill zombies with an ax. He makes a note to himself to get Youngjae a swear jar. 

The six of them sat around and took turns playing Youngae’s new multiplayer fighting game his sisters sent over to him sometime last week. After a while they all learned to filter out his constant whining about “not using the combos correctly,” and a little after that they all banned Youngjae from using combos because he was too good at them and no one could beat the kid.

“Where’s Yugyeom anyways? He’s the only one that ever gave Youngjae a run for his money,” Bambam asked after losing to Youngjae for the 9th time, if Jinyoung was counting, of course.

“He’s out with his girlfriend.” Mark said as he played with Jinyoung’s fingers. He found this atmosphere comfortable.  Jinyoung had really grown attached to the other members in a short amount of time. He’d go as far as calling them his friends if it wasn’t for the fact that he made a profit practically photographing their every move. But in this apartment, six of them cuddled up by each other watching Youngjae demolish everyone that dared challenge him in his home court, he wasn’t a fansite master and they weren’t idols. He was just Jinyoung, and they were them, and it was comfortable.

“I can’t believe she’s still putting up with him,” Youngjae bites his cookie because yes, his sisters also sent over cookies.

And as if on cue, Yugyeom strolls into the dorm looking like a love sick puppy on absinthe. He made his way for the couch and quickly assimilated himself into the tangled mess of limbs and game controllers, sighing contently.

“So the date went well?” Jinyoung asked, amused at how smittened the younger was. He was met with a pleased humming from Yugyeom and interpreted it as a yes.

About halfway into the movie they had somehow decided to watch Jinyoung felt his eyes begin to sting. It was only about five minutes later that Jaebum noticed his rapid blinking. He reached over and moved Jinyoung’s bangs out of his eyes, “did something get in your eye?” Jaebum whispered, trying not to disturb the others.

“I think my eyes are dry,” Jinyoung blinked again, futility trying to moisten them.

Jaebum sighed. “Did you forget to change your contacts again?”  His only reply was another blink. “I brought some eye drops, here.”

Jinyoung smiled a thank you and wordlessly got up to replenish his stinging scleras in the dimly lit bathroom down the hall. _Thank God for Im Jaebum,_ he sighed.

He had finished with his right eye when Mark entered the room and asked: “You ok?” making him jump and over drop the solution into his left eye. He yelped as his contact slipped out of place, instantly disorientating him as one eye was clear and the other was more so corrupted. 

“I’m fine, my contact just-“

“Jinyoung?” He recognized Jaebum’s voice.

“My contact slipped,” a sting in the left corner of his eye had him suspecting it was somewhere there, “ow.” He grumbled.

Jinyoung heard Jaebum tsk the way he does when Jinyoung does something stupid like trip over a flat surface and feels the older male cup his face into his hands, a routine they had done a million times. “I knew you’d fuck up,” Jaebum lets out an airy laugh. “You always pour too much,” he thinks he hears Youngjae asking what was going on. “Hold still, ok? I’m going to fix your contact.”

Jinyoung feels Jaebum’s breathe on his lips as he holds his own, not wanting to move and accidentally scratch his cornea, again. A few minutes pass and just like that, his world came back into balance. Jinyoung hates being legally blind sometimes.

“Thanks,”

“You’ve seriously got to start remembering to change your dailies,” Jaebum smiles as he caps the eye drop solution bottle.

“You’re like an old married couple,” Bambam (when did he get there?) says with a hint of disgust in his face as he walks off, Youngjae trailing behind him.

Mark blinks when their gazes meet and for the first time in a while Jinyoung actively feels how close he is standing next to Jaebum and takes a step back. “My contact slipped out of place,” he felt the need to explain himself to his (not) boyfriend.

“Yeah, got it,” Mark snipped back at him a little too quickly.

“I think the movie’s almost over, I already figured out know who wins in the end though,” Jaebum breezes past the both of them without looking back and somehow that seems to thicken the air in the room. Jinyoung isn’t sure why. Mark takes exactly 7 seconds before he blinks again; this time pushing himself off the door frame that was supporting his upper body and walking away without saying a word to Jinyoung.

Ok… that was weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i keep putting off the inevitable storm to come, can you tell?


	7. apartments

Something was definitely wrong.

After the movie night at the dorm Mark had grown distant from him. His replies were often short and he kept putting off their dates “because of schedules” even though both he and Jinyoung knew that they had just finished a comeback which meant Got4 were in a cool off period until their next one. Which meant no schedules; so Jinyoung wonders why Mark has once again turned down his attempts on taking the older on a romantically cliché dinner and a movie date.

And no matter how much of a catch his mother tells him he is, Jinyoung has been ghosted on before. Countless meaningless hookups during stressful exam weeks had taught Jinyoung that not every relationship was meant to be. But Mark was supposed to be different. Mark was taking it slow. Mark took him to Paris. Mark chose him to play the Juliet to his Romeo. And Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel a little empty when the reality of it settled in that maybe that was all in Jinyoung’s head.

“Maybe he got bored of me,” Jinyoung sighs into his morning tea.

Jaebum doesn’t bother to look up from his laptop when he says “that’s ridiculous.”

  
“Then explain why he hasn’t called or texted back in three days?”

“He’s busy?” Jaebum offers without any real thought, “he is an idol you know.”

Jinyoung lets out what he can only describe as the most pathetic whine he’s ever uttered in his life. They should play it during those sad dog commercials; every dog would be saved.

“This is really bothering you, isn’t it?” Jaebum sighs as he (finally) shuts his laptop off.

“Am I pathetic? Too clingy? Am I just ugly, Jaebum? Is that it? Did Mark realize that I’m ugly?” His head meets the table as he abandons all sense of pride.

“Yes, maybe a little, and God no,”

“Then how come-“

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this,” Jinyoung hears Jaebum’s chair slide out and assumes the elder is about to leave him to die when he feels himself being lifted up, a small whimper of surprise leaving his lips. The older might be slightly shorter than him but he’s sure as hell stronger.

“What are you doing?” He groans as Jaebum drags him to the door by arms.

“I can’t believe I’m this good of a person, I swear to God I should get an award,” Jaebum mumbles as he puts Jinyoung’s shoes on for him.

“Hyung…”

“We’re going to see Mark. I know they don’t have schedules today because Jackson ditched me to eat ramen with Bambam. Now come on.”

Jinyoung complies mainly because he wants to see Mark but also because Jaebum is very strong and would have thrown him over his shoulder if he was that determined to get him out of the house. This… has happened before. Except back then it was when Jinyoung got rejected from His Dream Job as a magazine photographer and he hadn’t showered in 3 days because “what’s the point of being clean when my portfolio isn’t.”

Jaebum took him to the magazine building at 2am. He also took a carton of eggs. Jinyoung cannot confirm nor deny what happened next or explain why the building’s exit was covered in dried, raw eggs in the morning. Don’t judge him; he was 18 and mad at the world. And the eggs had expired anyway.

“I look like a mess,” Jinyoung whined one last time as they reached the dorm’s door.

“Yes, but you’re still beautiful.” He doesn’t even have time to process that before Mark opens the door. When had Jaebum pressed the buzzer?

“Jinyoung…” Mark says it like a goodbye.

“Explain to him why you’re dodging his calls, and texts, and everything else related. I’m sick of hearing him mope about you,” Jaebum keeps his hand on the door in case Mark decides to shut it on them.

“Can we talk? Please, Mark?”

“Jaebum? Jinyoung?” Bambam’s voice quips up from behind them.

“What are you guys doing here?” Jackson asks next.

“Being an idiot,” Jaebum mumbles before he steps back from the doorway. There’s a look in Jaebum’s eyes as he looks at Jinyoung; he’s never seen it in the older before. It made him regret coming in all together. “Let’s give these two some privacy.”  He walks past them without waiting for an answer. Jackson obediently follows and Bambam, his tail, closely behind. Jinyoung wants to follow.

“If you’re not going to let me in, at least break up with me first so I can stop moping around the apartment,” Jinyoung balances between playful and terrified. Mark lets him in.

Mark sits himself on the couch and Jinyoung isn’t sure if he’s allowed to do the same. He settles for standing still and awkward in the middle of the living room.

“Mar-“

“I don’t want you to see Jaebum anymore.”

“What?” Panic settles and Jinyoung thinks that he is going to throw up.

“Wait, fuck, that’s not what I meant.”

“Do you not like Jaebum?” His Jaebum? The guy that’s been with him for as long as he’s ever known, that Jaebum? The one that spent three hours in the Han River with him because he lose his favorite watch along the shoreline?

“Do you?”

“Mark, I don’t understand.”

“Do you? Do you like Jaebum?” Mark’s eyes are dark in a way that Jinyoung had never seen before. He looks tense; nervous. Jinyoung is definitely going to throw up.

“He’s my best friend ofcour-“

“I mean, like him. Do you have feelings for Jaebum?”

Oh.

Mark took his shocked silence as an answer; getting up from the couch and heading towards the door, his knuckles white and his jaw slightly clenched. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Mark mad before. He wonders if this is what it looks like. Jinyoung follows.

“I don’t.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Jinyoung is unsure what to do with his hands. And he’s suddenly very aware that he subconsciously wore one of Jaebum’s hoodies instead of one of his own. He’s pretty sure Mark noticed.

“I don’t have feelings for him.” And with that Mark turns around and Jinyoung thinks he catches a glimmer of hope in the older boy’s eyes. It’s gone in almost an instant. He’s grabbed by the shoulders and Jinyoung thinks that this isn’t what Mark looks like when he’s angry. It’s what Mark looks like when he’s desperate.

“Come live with me.” Mark’s head hangs low as his eyes are glued to the floor. Jinyoung’s shoulders are starting to hurt.

“In the dorms?”

“We could… I could move out…” Mark still doesn’t meet his eyes.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, hyung.” Jinyoung uses the honorific cautiously as he gauges for any sign of a reaction from the older. “It would be really suspicious if you moved into an apartment with a known fansite.” He’s not sure where he’s going with this conversation.

“I just… I can’t think about you living with him anymore.”

“Oh.” Jinyoung feels the gears (finally) click in his head. “You’re jealous.”

Mark’s head whips up and he looks defeated. “Think about it ok? I’ll arrange for it to work. Just… just think about choosing me ok?”

He’s not sure he likes the way Mark worded that. “If I… if I come live with you. What about Jaebum?” The idol opens the door and Jinyoung habitually steps out.

“Just think about it ok?” Mark whispers pleading words and Jinyoung thinks he’d live in a tent with the older if he asked.

The door shuts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was super short i'm sorry I just didn't wanna delve into the next portion in the same chapter.


	8. turn around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't been writing. College was killing me. But I'm here now! I hope I can crank out a few more chapters.

So Jinyoung is definitely  _not_ panicking. He's just... rapidly pacing outside of his shared apartment with Jaebum while his heart booms in his ears like a war drum, but Jinyoung is not panicking.

 _'Come live with me."_ The words that Mark uttered out of desperation a few hours ago ran through his mind a mile a minute. Jinyoung was technically still on the hook for a yearly lease with Jaebum so that's not going to work. Oh and also because Jinyoung can't imagine a single day without Jaebum's eggs, but that's besides the point. Jinyoung still remembers the first day they moved in together. Their entire apartment consisted of 2 lawn chairs they got from a flee market, a questionable table with one leg shorter than the rest, 2 cups, a single pot andpan, mattresses, some blankets and pillows. They had spent an entire year living off plastic plates that Jaebum still insisted on cleaning with soap because "think about the planet, Jinyoung."

It was more a half hearted attempt to distract themselves from the fact that they couldn't afford to buy new plastic plates everytime they ran out. 

The winters were cold and the summers were far too hot but three part time jobs and a year later, they bought their first real kitchen table. And then came a couch, and eventually they were able to afford their own luxuries. Living off nothing for an entire year plumped both their bank accounts up to a point of reasonable comfort. Jinyoung thinks back to that time and cringes at his "one shirt for each day of the week" philosophy but settles that he wouldn't change a thing. It was through those hard times that Jaebum discovered his passion for writing. After all, living in the heart of Seoul with no money gave one some time to think and reflect. 

Jinyoung is still pacing.

They built their apartment from the ground up for three years. It was, for lack of a better word, their baby. And Mark wants him to move in with him.

The more Jinyoung says it, the less it makes sense. Mark and Jinyoung, as well as they meld as a couple, could never move in together in the height of Got4's career. It would raise way too many questions- the first of course being: "Why did you move into an apartment with a fansite master? A  _male_ fansite master?" Besides all that; Mark was the leader, their eldest member. There is no scenario that justifies him leaving the three younger members. Mark has a job to do.

_"I'll arrange for it to work..."_

"Are you done pacing? I've been waiting for you to come inside for like, fifteen minutes." Jaebum peeks through the door, a smirk on his face.

Jinyoung stops pacing and feels like he's going to cry when he lays eyes on Jaebum. He feels himself waver.

Jaebum's smirk disappears and his eyes soften. "Jinyoungie? What's happened?" 

That's all it takes: two words and his pet name and Jinyoung melts into Jaebum's arms sobbing. He really needs to control his emotions better.

"Jinyoungie? Shhh, it's ok," he feels Jaebum's hand stroke his hair while his other arm urges him closer. At whatever point the two had slid to the floor; Jinyoung a puddle of tears and Jaebum cooing with affection. He was slightly taller than the older but he felt pocket sized in that moment.

He's not sure how many minutes had passed but eventually his embarrassingly violent and loud sobbing came down to a slow hiccup; his hand was cramping from clutching onto Jaebum's shirt for so long. "Mark... he..."

"Let's go inside ok? It's chilly out. I'll make you some tea and we can talk about it." 

Jinyoung doesn't know what he would do without Jaebum in all honesty. 

A warm cup of tea and a blanket burrito later and Jinyoung is able to breathe without hiccuping and as a result coherent sentences were able to be formed.

"Mark asked me to move in with him." Jinyoung says quietly.

There is a long pause as Jaebum's jaw visibly clenches. 

"He said he'd work it out somehow so it wouldn't look suspicious." Jinyoung feels a different kind of small. Like a child telling their parents that they broke the cookie jar trying to eat one before dinner.

"Do you... do you want to?" Jaebum's voice is devoid of any recognizable emotion.

"I... I'm not sure."

"We're in a lease together for another year."

"I figured Jackson or someone else would want to move in. This place is rent controlled so..." He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. He doesn't  _want_ Jackson or someone else moving in. 

"So what? It's no big deal?" 

"No I just..." Jinyoung has lost all control of his vocal chords apparently. "Mark wants me to move out soon..."

"Does that mean you're saying yes?"

Before Jinyoung could finish putting the period on his sentence Jaebum fires back: "Do you want me to say no?" It was a weighted question.

A heavy silence fell over the two and Jaebum hasn't looked him in the eyes since the conversation started. Jinyoung isn't sure he wants him to. 

 _"I see the way he looks at you."_ Mark's words come to mind for whatever reason.  Looks at him like what? If there was one thing that Jinyoung knew it was Jaebum. He could look at Jaebum's clothes for the day and tell you what Jaebum will have for lunch from it. If it's his ratty t-shirt he's just going to a convenience store, if it's a v-neck he's going to that cafe down the street with the cute waiter, and if it's a black hoodie Jaebum wasn't going to eat lunch because his black hoodie was his cram writing hoodie and Jaebum always wore it when he had deadlines. He knew Jaebum. He certainly would have known if Jaebum had developed feelings for him.

"I... I think I want to move in with Mark." The words shock even Jinyoung. Jaebum's head snaps up and he swears he saw the semblance of a tear in the corner of his eye before it disappeared. Nevertheless, Jaebum looks betrayed, hurt, dismayed. Jinyoung feels like here's lead in his stomach.

"You... you want to move in with Mark?" Jaebum says like he's tasting a bad bottle of wine.

"Is that ok?" Jinyoung isn't sure that's the right question to ask; he's just not sure what else to say.

Jaebum takes a long breathe in before his eyes glaze over. "You know I'll always support you."

"I'll stay until the lease year is up!" Jinyoung wants to stop talking. "Mark has to figure a whole bunch of stuff out before we can make it official, anyways." Jinyoung really wants to stop talking.

"Right." It's only one syllable but it feels like hot coal touching Jinyoung's ears.

Jinyoung wishes the conversation could end there. He wishes he didn't have to say the next part. "Mark also... doesn't want me to see you anymore."

He sees something in Jaebum's demeanor snap. "Is that what you want?"

"He's convinced you have feelings for me. I told him it wasn't true but-"

"Is that what you want, Jinyoung."

"I really think he's just being protective, I mean we are really close and we're both ga-"

"Jinyoung." He's never seen Jaebum so tense. If he thought one syllable burned; Jinyoung wasn't prepared for the scorch that came with two.  

"I don't know."

"Ok, new question. Are you going to do what Mark says?" Jinyoung wishes that Jaebum would revert back to staring at the ground. Eye contact fried his brain of all actual problem solving abilities.

"I... I don't know."

Jaebum took a long pause. "Well shit then, Jinyoung. Something you don't fucking know."

He always knew how to make Jinyoung feel microscopic. "That's not fair."

"Excuse me for being upset that my best friend is suddenly considering throwing away years of friendship just because some guy he blows once a week told him to."

"I'm not considering-"

"You're not  _not_ considering it." Jaebum is tapping his foot erratically. That's what he does when he's trying to control his temper. Jinyoung knows because Jinyoung helped him develop it. 

"I like Mark, Jaebum. I just want to make things work with him. He's the only decent guy I know." Jaebum visibly flinches.

"The only decent guy, huh?" 

Jinyoung resists the urge to eye roll mainly because he's not sure where Jaebum is going with this. "I mean... you remember the last guy I dated right? He kept stealing all of my socks to sell on eBay."

"I can not believe how completely oblivious you are." Jaebum throws his head into his hands and begins tapping faster. "Aren't photographers supposed to pick up on subtle details? Not that anything I've been doing for the past eight years have been anywhere near subtle."

"What are you mumbling about?"

"I mean for fuck's sake" Jaebum lifts his head and stares straight into his soul; a look of plea in his eyes. "when we moved in together I didn't know how to boil the rice properly and suddenly over a month I knew how to make your favorite omelette dish to perfection- did you not find that weird at all, Jinyoung? Did you not notice the dozens of cookbooks I bought because I couldn't stand to only be able to make ramen for you?" 

And just like that, Jinyoung feels something finally click inside of him like an old tv antenna that finally hit the perfect angle for broadcasting that show you've been dying to see for a week. Just like that, everything comes at Jinyoung at once. All the times he had woken up from a bad night of self pity over rejection letters to find Jaebum making him his favorite dishes; all the subtle touches he mistook as platonic affection when it was something so much deeper, the protectiveness every time he went on a date. Jaebum got a cold from wadding in the Han River looking for a $50 watch that Jinyoung bought. Jaebum hates being photographed and yet was a regular during Jinyoung's intro to profile shots class. Jaebum became a fansite master with him because he didn't want Jinyoung to feel like a sellout alone.

"You love me?" Jinyoung felt the words leave his lips but he wasn't sure he registered them yet.

"I love you. I've loved you for as long as I could remember." Jaebum stopped tapping- his knuckles white. He's scared.

Jinyoung is too.

"Why haven't you said anything?" Jinyoung feels an angry rise from him. He's not sure why. "You just let me walk around like an idiot?"

"How is this my fault?"

"Answer my question." Jinyoung wants to stop talking again. He feels that he needs to stop talking again. But the words crawled their way up his throat and he had no control. 

"Are you going to chose Mark?" It should have sounded hostile. It should have been spit at Jinyoung like snake venom that burned his skin off. It should have hurt. It didn't. It sounded like Jaebum was asking him one last time, deciding whether it was time to let go of a adolescent dream or to clutch onto it until it bleeds. Jaebum was always determined to get the things he wanted- but Jinyoung always knew that even he had a limit.

"I don't know,"

"How do you not know? At the end of the day it boils down to one thing: me or mark. Because I'm a lot of things, Jinyoung, but I'm not a saint. I don't know how much longer I can keep telling myself 'I'm happy as long as he's happy'. I don't know if I can survive watching you falling in love with someone that's not me, again." Jaebum begins to make his way to the door.

Jinyoung desperately doesn't want him to leave. He can't leave it like this. "What do you want me to say?"

Jaebum pauses midway through stomping on his shoes. He can't remember the last time he saw Jaebum this defeated. "You know what I want you to say, Jinyoungie." The nickname, no matter the situation, still sends a wave of calm over the younger. He hates that.

"Jaebum, please don't go."

He knows that if Jaebum turns around he could get him to stay. If he turned around, Jaebum would see what a pathetic mess Jinyoung was becoming and he'd stay out of pity if anything and they could somehow work this through. If only he turned around.

"I'll be at Jackson's."

He didn't turn around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes. do you think Jaebum should have left? who do you think Jinyoung is going to chose?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure where this fic is going


End file.
